Long has gone the doll it seems….
To be replace by some sinister love,
And the ballet of the needles…
How twisted it seems.

So it is time to turn the chapter,
No words, no hopes, no wishes…
The next few weeks have been for real.
And so there it is, I have made the move!

One more week, seems like eternity,
And everything seems too fast,
My mind is no yet set
My heart no fulfils?

But I am leaving; I guess something was waiting to happen!
I say “see u later Dolls”
I wish I could write,
Goodbye forever!

Next week is my last days at work,
I am about to quit all,
Re-mortgage the all place,
Got money in the bank.

Asia is the place, who calls me,
Specially, Nepal and Tibet,
I be flying to Bangkok by mid-October,
And hopefully in Nepal by November!

If I don’t go away, I will perish,
So I choose life and leave it all behind
6 months seems like a long time,
But I shall be free of all…

Yes I am scare and wonder,
Like the little prince,
What is behind the other side of the world?
Hopefully I shall stand proud on top of the mountain

I am going to let my scream!
I shall let out all the pain on the mountains of the Himalaya,
Yes if anything, I be free,
Oh my god, this is for real!

Ok, I am bored of prose and bad dyslexic quotes, I took a decision to leave this city, this world, this love, everything that keep eating me alive, stop!!!!!!!!!!!
So I gave my notice and next week my last week at work.
Spend a couple of weeks in France to say hello and goodbye at the same time,
Not that it really matter, after all, if u have reads my past history, family, blood one is
Rather dubious!
Thank god, after talking to my family of heart (my adoptive family) I know there is someone who care and love me still….
Yes to me, this is nothing like going travel for 6 months, backpacking and all…
No, I am leaving my old skin with an open mind and an open wound, as my heart!
I wish what I might find in place such as Tibet and Nepal, sound like children’s books, will bring the joy and the creativity I once hold deeply?

So yes I choose to leave it all and kiss goodbye this place.
I am afraid and exciting at the same time, what will I feel when my feet’s touch India?
What would I see when my eyes look at the Himalaya?

All I know, I am listening my heart and follow the course of what I am told, I do not wish to live in fear anymore!
I need to go before it is too late and I see the clock ticking so close, when I feel the rush pumping through my veins, and this is not me…
I am better then this!
How twisted it would be if I died now, after all…
God, Buddha, and my spiritual friends, I hold u dear, to guide me, I shall not expect but thank each days I open my eyes to this new world, which is waiting for me…

If all go well, be back in the UK by April just for the spring, my favourite season, with fresh eyes clear mind and detox heart!
I leave the garbage for a new adventure, this is not a holiday!
One can not call such a thing after 6 years without having a single break!
No, I am about to go on a journey, what will happen after, does not matter, tomorrow not does not exist!
After all I will have inside me, faces and smiles, and panoramic landscape!

I still can`t believe it, I am about in one month to be in the other side of the world!
I shall keep in touch either thought my website (www.crowpied.com )
Or maybe here?
This wonder seems so futile right now, but there are peoples I met and care here and wish to keep in touch, maybe I will post some beautiful sunset/sunrise, that for sure!
I always notice the sky, the stars and the moons with aggravations of sunset/ sunrises…

Ok, to say it all, in a simple way, I am going away for 6 months to Asia, travelling and hopefully find peace if not the wish to live again!
How I wish I could speak more about it, and probably will, as matter while I shall of course have a pad and pen to write my journey, I hope I will find the clarity to start an online journey, about my travel.

This is all mangled at this time, and I guess if u never read my past posts, it might seems a little obscene the least…
people cross my mind I met in here, who I still hold in my heart, my dear friend from America, who`s love for her animals and my little Irish friend who left for America and …well u know who u are.

Well, I do hope u read this and have a little prayer for me, this is the second major decision I ever take in my life, and the first one was to leave for England and tonight to see the other side of the world…
Well I guess it will be easy to stay and carry on the same old shit, drugs and doggy lovers, who call themselves straights!

But I know one thing, I have lost my wish to live, I wake up with the same dread and hopelessness feelings so I shall be one more time strong and leave it all to see if I find some meanings to it all?

I love u all, like my brothers, it is hard to learn to love everyone’s, but this is what I wish, to love my worst enemy!

So be it……………………………………………………………………………………

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