Don’t you love Friday night, symbolise of debauchery for some while upon the poor soul begging in the street, the shadow of making a good “money pennies”, maybe…
As the evening growth closer, another spirit shall perish upon the sky to land on Jesus feet’s!
Another heart shall stop beating while we goes on deceiving ourselves, that what we are make to believe I guess…
Irrational fears come and go…
For the weak minds, the one who know nothing better then misery!
I wish I could set you free but I am battling my way to that deep water…
Should I be ashamed I wonder?
Should I wonder why I did falls for the apple and the sinner?
Maybe this is what I really need!
His kisses were made of gold and while his clothes might have been stained with chemical blood and his mind cloudy from reality, Can I claim to be better?
All I knows you keep haunting me in my dreams, falling for the bottom of this abyss, there is no life, no future in our world and we would go to the bottomless will, where laid the corpses of those who thoughts they knew better then us too!

We knew we would jump and so we did!!!
I wish I could say I remember those times, but the rush was so deep that god hands came upon me and choose to shut my soul to any sounds, imagery or pleasure!
God do I hate him for it, as I know we would have been so happy one more time!
I lust for your kisses and your touch, oh baby, why do I always fall for the wrong hour?
While I know this room is still fills with your smell and we shall soon meet again, in some cloudy memories, I hate myself and what I become!

Sweet slave to your charms and lost mind and body, I keep trying to light you up, does it really matter of they might make of this?
They will say, on my last afternoon, my mother had a son, who was too young to leave this place and he will ask her:
-tell me about what he died again?
My mother had a son, who died it seems it was too much for him to bared the secret of his despair and in his words it seems it was too late to be free of those time…
Would you tell him, about his loves?
Would you tell him about what make his heart ticking like some old dysfunctional cuckoo!
Until he took his own life, he could not wait to run away from all those places, the same he lived for so long…
Love is so penetrating and devastating to the child he was once!

It seems life keep repeating history, as he was watching the ashes of his father flying by to oblivion so it seem to me, it took the same wrong turn, but what is right, when you born under the darkest night of the century!
Yes it was a bad joke of god to let him out and even more to let him live!
So what will you say, when they ask:
- tell me why he died?

It seems to me, there is no justice no god and even less some mystic empire!
I wonder as he close his eye, what were his last thoughts?
As I watch the ground swallows him, so many times, like some old pornographic movies!
This is so filthy and so real at the same time…
Nothing is forever, and forever he wishes upon….the moon.

COPYRIGHT@2007.H.NAUDET.MARGOT.

Why I don’t believe in a devil,
Why should I?
As I am….
Mercury and poison on virgin flesh!
And the light has gone,
The stars are burns!
I longed for this one,
One more time,
To go to heaven…
Strike me again,
I am your heroine,
My idol,
But my face is more colourful.
As I run thought your veins,
To make your beats,
To the bad heat!
Like some dirty disco,
You know I hate my guts,
As I watch myself,
Singing, like a broken bird!
Stop flirting with a screen, yes I wish I could go on a rampage,
Like b4,
Yes I shall never really change!
Damned, I wish I did!
But the sound of the music,
Still make me so dizzy!

Enough!!!!

COPYRIGHT@2007.H.NAUDET.DIT.MARGOT.

I go to peoples houses or they might come to mine and I have sex with them,
No questions asks, no responses,
Just a simply beautiful evening or mornings,
I say, I never really know when the next one shall take me!
Oh yes sound like a dirty whore,
One of those, the ripper, could have strangled!
Please come to give me a kiss,
Cold on my neck,
And make my spine shiver!
And I don’t know why, I still believe,
To the incredible!
To the impossible, it seems…
Cannabis and drinks,
Wine for the blood of Christ,
As I felt like being a priest, no so long ago,
Plenty of orgy that for sure!
But I meet you, Later,
Italian stallion,
Give me your body, you felt for mine,
Well, it was not that bad,
Maybe the notion and expectation of my manhood was too big for you,
That the first I am told, my cock is too big!
But you were laughing and make joke,
And I don1t care,
If i u see you tomorrow or never,
Because I am so ….
Syphilitic off the all thing!

Christmas whore, yes I am!
I don’t why I do it, but I do either way!
I let myself being touch, like a repeat of some dirty movie!
I am the slave and the maso
Who torture me!
Sound like I am depressed but not really…
Just be me thinking taking my own life,
I guess that the norm in my book,
I could not wait to be free,
And they all knew the end,
But no-ones could stop the clock clicking…
I guess that not real fun…

I can feel the disease coming up again,
The pain in my limbs until I took my own life
I wish I could press that button,
The very own one, I hold so tightly in my hand,
Why be so protective?
When you know the end of those fairies tales,
Morgue d`amour, it will end,
On the table, like some old bank notes!
Soon to be forgotten,
Despise the pain I felt, it seems,
I was the only one, the huge burden of life,
How silly, one has to be,
I guess I was the one…

My inspiration is running out, I don’t believe you will truly care or understand this anyhow….

COPYRIGHT@2007.H.NAUDET.DIT.MARGOT.

Fast love no direction really.
Turning to his door step,
Would be nice to have a drink b4 the deed,
Fast love no direction really…

For the one who has loved as a child,
This is not real love,
Simple word on ether paper,
Fast love I suddenly disappear again…

As the minutes growths,
To final days, hopefully soon then later,
When u knows the love, you miss…
Those are cold nights!

Is this what is left?
Of a not son long youths,
Fills with dreams and it seems,
Broken wishes unblessed!

And I learn from all this years,
I never stop, the hurt, the joy,
When u had experienced the blessing tear,
There is no fast love…left!

I guess I was bless with u love,
I was kiss by Eros!
And my heart has bleed,
But it shall never belong to u…

I am on my own,
And I hate what I become,
So please walk to u destiny,
Fast loves are cold blooded corpses!

COPYRIGHT@2007.H.NAUDET.DIT.MARGOT.

Qu importe si la mort frappe a ma porte!
J`aurais vécut et mon dernier soupir seras pour toi,
Quand le rideau se baissera sur mes illusions inachevées !
Oui je sais ces mots sont durs,
A mes propre oreilles,
Le ton de ma voie,
Ressemble à la mélancolie
De mes adieux,
Comme lui,
Je me regarde partir,
Dans des rêves briser,
Je n ais plus guère de souvenirs,
Ou de joie a partager,
Je pense que le temps est venu,
De dire adieu,
Je vois déjà Camille sourire,
Et Baudelaire prendre sa plume,
Si seulement j avais pus décapiter cette maladie,
Que l ont appelle l amour,
Comme une grangère,
Elle m a dévorer,
Regarde cette photo,
Cette enfant, il fut une fois, moi…

Si seulement tu pouvais comprendre,
Si seulement tu m avais crus,
Mais la réalité est bien trop dure à avaler,
Il y bien longtemps que j ais vomit mon venin,
Pour le régurgiter !
Et je crève comme une folie insane !
Voilas ma destiner,
S est jolie la tragédie,
Ou les larmes d`autrui !
Comme j aimerais être l autre,
Celui qui regarde de sa fenêtre,
La scène d un passer,
D un future incertain !
Viande pour le pauvre et le clodo de la rue,
Je suis la quatin du vingt-et-un siècle…
Pop, voilas l orgasmes !

COPYRIGHT@2007.H.NAUDET.DIT.MARGOT.

I loved you my way but I must go, time as come to say goodbye…
And I don’t think you should cry over me, there is nothing left for you to hold,
Baby, let me swipe that tear away, I never wish for this,
I almost hate myself for it, but darling you knew all along…
This was never going to be…

My love was never untrue simply not pure,
No where to goes, no where to pray,
Your body was my temple and so as I watch you walking away,
You take away myself with you,
This is not for real…

Don’t; look back; I was never to be,
But a simple illusion,
To make you feel alive again,
And make myself to breaths,
And time as come to fly…

Would the sky be grey?
Or shall I find the sun, I longed for?
Those are questions,
Without much meaning as I watch you,
Give me one last kiss…

I was never made to be for real,
Those times as long gone!
Tonight I am the ghost of those final hours,
As I pass the door,
“Would you stay for a coffee?”

No way to escape, no way to find peace,
No need for words, I am fading,
Can’t you see?
I was never for real,
But simple illusion…

I guess I hate myself,
Form a different angle,
As I shall no turn back,
And leave this place forever,
Like I was never there…

It would make things so much easy,
Don’t you think if I could?
Simply vanish like some cloudy memories,
But I still feel my heart beat fast,
To those funeral!

If I could, I would,
Make those things happens,
Life is a butterfly,
Crashing inside the palms of my hands,
Angel dust ashes to ashes….

COPYRIGHT@2007.H.NAUDET.MARGOT.

I am freak of nature, yes that right; I am a freak of nature,
Watching myself on the silver screen, walking away from my own life!
Be carefull to what u wish for!
I learn the hard way,
To witness myself,
Be human I guess, and try so hard to stop…
And everywhere I look, I see the depraved, I am!
There is nothing I would not do,
But simply be me again!
But the foundation is collapsed, I guess…

I dream that all I got, left…
As I watch myself blow up like a pretty doll,
Well it was expected it!
From a living doll made in London!
Pure and hardcore,
So be it!
This is my way to go!

Emails, phone calls, and else,
Does it really matter; the true is hard to swallow,
But it has to be face!
I am on my one! Tonight and every other night!
Thank you for my mistakes,
There is nothing I would not do,
To hears your voice again,
Their voices, again!
All disappears in the wind,
I was too cold and arrogant!

I wish I knew the meaning of love but all I have left is…
Emptiness……

COPYRIGHT@2007.H.NAUDET.MARGOT.

It is funny how the years come together, to join me, in some discord harmony!
Can anything go any deeper, then this?
I longed for changed but changed must come from the bottom of my heart, which as this time, feel like a cactus dying slowly in some desert island!
I wish I could be the little prince I was once and walk away from all…

All the ghosts are out! As I battle my way to freedom, I can see their ugly smiles, all around me, like a broken piece of mirror, shatter in the gutter!
Spoke to the family, cry on the phone and send many s.o.s and looking back, I don’t think, there is anyone in the other line, sadly!

Yes I am, what I wanted a blow up doll! a pretty little man.
With a broken soul and holding tight to a soon, to become to rotten body!
But so far so good, as they say…
Still the same, orgy and free ride to orgasms!
I am a little child, who screams for freedom, to be hold and wish,
You never let me goes…

Wishful thinking, I guess!
If only I knew, what I would be today, I would just disappears to oblivion,
Let the pain stop, no one left to call, so let it be,
Be my own mistake,
As I hurt myself!

So why do I still battle?
Where this energy come from?
I am a fighter and a survivor,
Of the holocaust of abuse kids!
If only it could make me better!
Nothing shall change the way I feel, no even my dolls!

I wonder?
Would they forgive me but most of all, would they understand?
I don’t think so!
That what make me the sadder.
Knowing they shall never know, the torment,
And the anguish of the thought,
Maybe tomorrow, maybe never!

I am u heroine!
The one and only,
I wish too,
But even this, does not come to place!
As I am floating in some deep space!
Looking for u!

Oh well, I am so tired to repeat the same chorus,
The play as long gone!
The psychosis sadly never went away!
So I shall keep hurting till I move away.
Look at me ands open u arms to me,
Please…..

COPYRIGHT@2007.H.NAUDET.MARGOT.

I spoke to mummy, it felt so good so like home,
I am so sorry to blame you for everything’s,
I could not do!

I told you about my bleeding heart,
And my fading dreams…
How sad I knew you felt!

I though I would be strong,
And here I am,
Like a puppet!

Begging for love,
If only I knew,
But time is pains…

I wish I could call you,
,
I wish you hear your voice,
So I feel home again…
Do your hear me?

It is so late already,
And I wish I could sleep away,
And tell you how I miss u …

But time has come,
Pains have tarnish and vanish,
The love…..

Despise what you truly,
We were 2 peas in a pod,
Waiting to expose!

I love you like it was yesterday,
But I walk away,
And gave myself to the tramps!

I am so sorry,
For hurting you,
But I feel so broke inside,
At this minute…

It is so hard to say goodbye,
It will happen,
I promise you.

Give me time,
Let my head spin, and reborn!
It is dangerous…

Let tell the story in a different way,
Yes baby, it was yesterdays, I see your face, and while it was not my ultimate dream,
I felt for your soul, and your voice…
How I wish you could understand what these words means,
While I feel broke inside…

But here I am haunting you,
Again, be please…
I won’t be long…

I would hold you in my arms in arms,
There is nothing I would not do,
To make you stop blaming you…

But I know, I hurt myself too deep,
And I know the price you pay!
Tell me I am wrong!

Tell me how proud u are,
I can say, I miss you,

I miss these nights,
These days, in your arms,

How painful it feels,
Thinking about u,
In these desert nights….

COPYRIGHT@2007.H.NAUDET.MARGOT.

Why does the word suicide seem to scare so much?
I look at images, memories, souvenirs,
And my heart hurt me so much!
I was so young, when I read this telegram,
“Call it is about your daddy…”
And I knew what I will be told,
Too late.
I miss your last blessings!
I am so sorry, to hurt you,
And hurting me so much!

I wish you for those silence words,
And they is no turning back,
Someday, I broke inside,
When it came to you!
There is nothing I would do to talk to you now,
To know the true…
And I hurt myself alone and with you…

And I keep watching the same video,
To forget, to bless you,
For everything’s I never was able to say,
I miss you your eyes,
I miss your arms,
And you telling me,
You truly loved me!

I still don’t believe it,
Look at me, what you have left me!
So it shall be,
36 the number of my death!
Someday, I wish I could described those,
But you would tell me I was wrong?
When I hanged?

So be it!
I shall be the little prince,
Walking upon this earth,
I never really love or wanted,
I plan my end,
So,
So, so,
So so,
SOS….

COPYRIGHT@H.NAUDET.2007.DIT.MARGOT.

I GUESS I WAS 19…
Seems like it was yesterday,
I felt your arms warps round me,
I would take the pain away,
But there is nothing I can do,
Tonight,
Ohhhhhh,
I so sorry for blaming you,
For all the tears and sometimes the laugh…

I wonder beyond the grave, what you would tell me?
How proud you are?
I wish I never disappointed you,
I try my best, to survived,
And keep looking up,
To the sky!

Tonight i shall take my DOLLS!
And forget all,
Too much pain in this time,
It will take time,
What I knew today,
I would hold you in my arms,
To forgive you for your mistakes,
But I know,
Your voice is silence!

So I hurt myself,
Human nature I guess!
Tell me I was wrong,
I did it all,
And succeed, father, mother and son,
I am on the top of this mountain!
Who care now?

I am sorry for trying again
Two days ago,
To disappears,
It seems like it was yesterday, when I saw the last time,
I would hold you,
And I should be you,
But it could not be enough,
So I will put myself to sleep and forget,
I will hold my teddy bear,
Be proud as I have no shame,
But simple tears,
Running upon my checks!
For once!

Time to swallow the poison and hope
For no sunrise, no way, no escape….
But I know better,

Seems like yesterday, when I saw how proud you were!
Seems like it was yesterday, I saw your face,
And promise myself I would be the best for you,
And today, I walk on the string of life!
And I cannot help blame myself,
For your tears, you saw me running…
All, I cared was you to be proud,
And tonight,
As I read this telegrams,
I realised I lost it all!

Was it two days ago?
I was lying in another hospital bed again!
They whispers I stop breathing at least four times!
True I swear!
Adrenaline shots, tequila for the lost soul!
I wake up again must be an angel?
Plugged to plastic tubes and pump up,
I saw his look on his face,
I knew the news would not be good…

Apparently my blood can not convert
The carbon monoxide to oxygen?
So I guess it is a matter of time,
Before I fall into oblivion…
Sometimes,
I wish I was the one,
I told you would be proud off.
Am I a big boy, I cry tonight?

Hard to believe,
It only be two days, I was lying again in some medical sheets,
Needles sticking in my arms,
I wanted so much to die!
And here I am,
Again, like these other days,
It won’t be long,
You simply push me to the bottom,
No need for name,
No need to blame for blaming you,
I hurt myself,

Someday I hurt myself,
Because it is so hard to say goodbye,
You will have to think I was wrong, and wonder
If you be proud I was wrong?
I am sorry for blaming you,
I was the one, who hang,
To the life support machine…

Bless….for everything’s!

COPYRIGHT@2007.H.NAUDET.DIT.MARGOT.

By the Gregorian calendar, we have finally sweep under the carpet,
This horrendous days and nights, let not forget the hours and the seconds who kept whispering the slow decay of it all!
I wonder why we always feel the need to ponder the need to make some illusive wishes from one day to the next.

Well, I made my ultimate wishes as the number 36 is yet not over!
I finish the year in a big bang! If I could actually wrote the words and the description of my act, it would bring tears and laugh as the same time!
So I try to think of it as the past, as it is…

They won’t be any warnings.
One day like any other I guess, hard to tell, as it has not come and may never come!
That the positive side of it…
And ever if it did, I shall bother my cyber friends with it.
Did my duties and send my Nasmastee to all I love.

The dream is fading fast and while u might still see shinning me out there, remembers those are illusions and broken dreams.
Shooting stars were never made for ever but too simply for the eyes of the common mortal!
So here we are…
Tomorrow, I will chew my trips or spit the last remain of my venoms, either ways; the outcomes shall be firework to heaven!

I took the poison, I left more then a decade ago and all my being are in turmoil for what?
Love?!
Ah the magic word I guess!
Neither down or above, as usual, had floating in between, like some lost souls!
I was reminded it, the depths of eyes is lost in some land, magic garden, where I suck on my last remain victims!

And here I am waiting my time to nothing, speaking to0 myself and some synthetic screen…
Better then the walls of a squat as I did for the past week!
Floor stain with blood, needles Christmas tree and flashing red lights! U knows what I mean?

I look at the mirror and all I see, is the shadow, it hurt so bad, there is no more tears left.
And I know there is still strength in the bull and u might make me bleed, I know I can still stand on my two legs!
As a matter of fact, I still could fuck, hate the word, forbidden from my vocabulary!
And I still taste your kisses and your “hot shot”!

Pick up the phone or walk to him…
I will I know already.
Reminder of my youth and mistakes,
But I am no twenties anymore…
That where laid the tragedy!

Anyway the hours are comings,
Tomorrow shall speak clearly to my mind,
As I see myself getting loose,
Wish I could stay and rest,
But I must put my mind at rest….

Namastee to all.

COPYRIGHT@2007.H.NAUDET.MARGOT.